Winter Training
Last year we featured a guide from Australian Olympic Yngling coach Adrian Finglas on how to continue training over winter. Well today we received another take on winter training from LSD reader Stan. We aren’t sure of the original source of this, so if you have any idea please let us know…
* Sit on a bench with large metal fixtures cutting into your legs, stare straight up into the sun for 2 hours – for a more robust workout: invite 4 friends to come over and yell at you the whole time.
* Go out and get very drunk, sleep 4 hours, then stand on a rocking chair for 6 hours.
* Go to bank and withdraw as much cash as you can – then set it on fire.
* Sit in front of a commercial fan and have someone throw large buckets of salt water on you
* Cut a limb off nearby tree, tie ropes to it, stand on rocking chair with tree limb and ropes – hold them over your head for 3 hours…at 5 minute intervals drop on your head – more robust version: have friends yell at you in 6 minute intervals
* Pour cold water in your lap and give yourself a wedgie, now alternate between sitting and running around bent over
* Tie ropes between 2 trees and sit on a hard barstool tipping yourself into the ropes and balance – push your body against them as hard as you can for 6 consecutive hours – don’t stop for pain or bruising until the pins and needles in your feet make it impossible for you to walk.
* Nail rough grade sandpaper to your stairs and make sure the sandpaper is wet. Crawl up and down on your knees in shorts for several hours.
* Make 12 sandwiches on white bread with bad meat. Cram them into a plastic bag and sprinkle with sea water- eat one a day for 12 consecutive days. Make sure the last one is peanut butter and jam.
* Tie rope to rear bumper of friend’s car, hold on tightly, but allow rope to slip through fingers as car drives away – TIP: works best with nylon.
* Upon completion of above sit down and drink 24 Mount Gay Rums and tell your non-sailing friends what a fantastic sport it is.
